16/09/24 or 09/16/24

Me back then, proud of me and my creation (Gus the 1st) !


It's been a long time since I've been truly proud of myself for something I made with my hands.
I'm quite proud of who I am, (I think?) and especially of my relationship with people. I am proud to be human in my own way, which is to love people. I pride myself on being curious and understanding. To be interested in people, to like to know their lives and what they like.
But I'm not proud of what I do with my hands.

When I was 10 years old my mum asked me "What do you want to do when you grow up?" and I said "I don't know but I'd like to create stuff." I haven't forgotten it but I don't feel like I'm doing anything to move in that direction... However, I would like to please little me.

13/09/24 or 09/13/24

Today the weather is gray, like my mind.
I live to see people but I don’t want to see anyone. Or rather I don’t (I can’t?) want to make the effort to see people.

07/09/24 or 09/07/24

I spent a weekend in Nice with two very good friends. It was very cool but very short.
we ate Georgian, walked in the streets of old Nice and we bathed in the sea for two days. I am so grateful for these moments and especially for my friends.

I remember that three or four years ago, I hade a Minecraft world with my cousin. We use to play on xbox and ps4. we played this game for so long that it bugged and after months and months we lost this world forever. It was so sad and even today, when I think about it I feel very bad.

29/08/24 or 08/29/24

I have great friends !
There's so much people I love in this world. Sometimes I don't see them a lot but nothing change, they are just amazing.
Life is not easy for them and many of them have gone through very difficult episodes but finally when we are together it's just pure love.

I often forget how important it is for me to have them by my side. I love them when they are happy, sad, angry, stressed, when everything is going well in their life or when they are carried away by the vortex.
I'm so grateful to have them because a few years ago I was unable to see this love

Also I like the fact that everyone are themselves in their own way.

24/08/24 or 08/24/24

Today is the week-end ! Nice.
I'm just not going to do anything, maybe I'll watch some movies, play crash bandicoot on my ps2 and if I'm feeling good, try to break some records in Athens 2004.

I am finishing my employment contract in three days now after two years in the same compagny. I have no clue of what I'm gonna do next. I think that life transition is beating me hard right now. Should I leave France ? Should I go freelance or finding a new company ? I don't know. I don't want to think about that for the next month.

Sometimes I wonder how many things we have lived and forget ? Some things are just not important like when you drink water or when you clean your room. But sometimes you live things very important at the moment you lived it, but completely forgetting these things afterward. So there is so many things completely forgotten who just disappears from the reality. It's crazy that If you don't remember something it never existed. I know that this is a very basic reflexion but it's fucked up idk.

22/08/24 or 08/22/24

today is my first day of coding with htlm and css ! What an interesting experience. Also I'm gonna try to speak in english at 100% here. Not an easy thing for me since I only speak english with my ex's parents like one or two day per year.(I love them they are so cool)

I don't know if I should introduce myself so much or not because I don't think that to many people are gonna see it.

Anyways, I'm french, I have an old cat, I'm depressed and the most important, I love to discover new things. That's pretty much.
I can't say that my life is particularly bad right now but I don't see the point of living.

Oh yes I forgot to say that this page is gonna be like a personnal diary for me !

So, yeah, I'm tired to support the weight of my head on my shoulders. Getting out of my bed seems (or feels?) like a huge, super stressful and not interesting at all professional project.

Neocities is so cool for giving us a little personnal space in this gigantic internet !It's like a cosy home, except that it's so hard to arrange it with html and css.

I will try to write here time to time when I feel like it.